Thankful for the small things
Today was an overall good day. I got into a conversation with my boss as we were driving to their family picnic. Well, it was more of her telling me her opinion about things and me listening. I just have to say that I'm glad money and material things of this world don't matter to me. I mean, money is necessary in the world we live in, but it is not important to me how far I get ahead or if the people I hang around with are "going places" or "doing things with their lives". All the things of this world will pass away. I need to be living for and working for something a bit more everlasting. I am thankful that I have been blessed with some security(and also for the small things He blesses me with each day). But, nothing matters except my eternal security. I pray that the work I do (along with getting me the money I need to get through college and each day) gives glory and honor to God. Not to honor myself or to get myself ahead. Not to strive to reach the top in a world that has become so selfish and self-centered. I want what I do with my life to be God's will, to glorify Him, and to touch the lives of those around me. I also pray that the families that I am involved in through my job will see Christ in me each day.
Well, enough rambling...church in the A.M. telling me it's bedtime
Birthday countdown: 13 days
Birthday plans are as follows: 5:00-Dinner at the Cheesecake Factory
Going the fair immediately following dinner
8:00-Switchfoot concert
If anyone is interested in tagging along to any of those things, let me know ASAP so I can make the arrangements. It's gonna be a blast :)
oh, the complicated life
So, it's 1:00 in the AM and I am still awake. Not really sure what has kept me up this late. I've been trying to finalize all my birthday plans! :) I feel like I should be more disappointed to be another year older. I guess it's just that block of time in my life that another year really doesn't make much difference. Being in school, in the dorms, surrounded by younger people...all these things help me feel younger (and yet older at the same time. Man, I'm confusing). Maybe they just help me stay focused on what really matters (not on the futility of what another year older is bringing).
I look at my life, the way it is now, and I feel like things that should be complicated are not and things that shouldn't be are. I pray always that I would keep my eyes above and not on the things of this world. This can prove to be very difficult when someone you love shuts you out of their life. When all you want to do is see them, talk to them, figure out what's going on and be there for them. But, if there's one thing I've learned in my life(and I hope there's more than one), it's that you can't be there for someone who won't let you be. Backing off and giving someone space is something I have a very hard time with. It would be easier if I "knew" everything was alright. But I don't and my faith is God and His hand in my life needs to be enough (and always should be).
Work is still great and very uncomplicated. Life is overall very good, and semi-complicated. This is me right now...
Birthday countdown: 15 days
I just found out what I want to do for my birthday!! Switchfoot (which happens to be one of my favorite bands) is playing at the Wisconsin State Fair at 8pm on August 12th. The tickets only cost $10 (or reserved bleacher seats for free, but I think I'll opt for the more pricey seats:). If anyone is interested in accompanying me, just let me know. I'd love to get a group of people to go out for dinner and then go to the concert.
I can't believe I'm almost 23. It's insane!!
My heart belongs to Him...
Lord, You have my heart
And I will search for Yours.
Jesus take my life and lead me on.
Lord, You have my heart
And I will search for Yours.
Let me be to You a sacrifice.
I will praise You, Lord,
And I will sing of love come down.
As You show Your face
We'll see Your glory here.
I hear him speaking on the other side
Wishing he would say "I'll be there, I want to be there."
As the conversation ends I find myself begin to cry
The tears are falling and I'm wondering
When did I give my heart away
I know it was never mine to give from the beginning
I need Your help to wait, believe, forget
Only You understand why my pillow seems so wet
I truly desire to be Yours alone
I know I've sang it a thousand times every week
Sitting in the pew carrying a tune, but do I mean the words I sing?
I want to mean them, I need to mean them.
I need to follow after You, to trust You, seek after You
To know that he is out there, waiting for me, waiting on You
Keep my heart safe until that day
Until he pursues it faithfully, truly, a Godly man
One who loves and honors You
Who looks at me and it takes his breath away
Who can't rest his head at night until he's thanked You for being able to have a piece of the heart that belongs to You.
Well, I had an interesting evening. A friend of mine from school/IV was visiting campus for some soccor fundraiser. (side note: I hate living downtown at the moment. I've realized if I lived in a city with lots of traffic all the time, I would go insane. Hmmm...maybe I should work some more on my patience.) Anyways, this friend of mine wanted to go to this place called The Jungle. It's a dance club that has teen night on Fridays. (she and the 2 other people going with are all under 21) So, reluctantly (I dislike dancing and stupid teenagers that dress like skanks, and lots of cigarette smoke) I decided I would go with them. I realized that I had made a really bad choice on footwear as we walked over there and a blister was already forming on my little toe. Great, I'm thinking, this is a good start to an evening filled with cutting a rug (I'm feeling old at the moment, I thought it would fit my mood).
It's about 9pm and we get there to find a line filled with scantily clad teenage girls (some that looked far too young to be out that late) and boys who needed to have thier eyes shoved back into their heads. We stand in line behind a guy smoking and it's blowing right in my face. Wow, it's quite clear why I don't really do this very often and why I feel quite old at the moment. After not too much time, we make our way to the front of the line. Pulling out our ID's to prove that we're all, what, 16? I did get carded at Fantastic Four last night, just in case I was a 16 year old out past curfew. Well, we didn't make it in cause one of the girls with us forgot her license. Darn, maybe next time.
So, that was my night. I ended up feeling old and getting a blister on my little toe. Why do things that happen to your little toe hurt so much. Honestly, it's so small.
Enough of this nonsense, I'm off to bed. Goodnight everyone!
I love this book!
"I ask no other sunshine than the sunshine of His face."
"Lord, I have said the eternal Yes. Let me never, having put my hand to the plough, look back. Make straight the way of the Cross before me. Give me love, that there may be no room for a wayward thought or step."
"The Holy Spirit was given to guide us into all truth, but He doesn't do it all at once."
"But the things that we feel most deeply we ought to learn to be silent about, at least until we have talked them over thoroughly with God."
"...the importance of struggle is the process of growth."
"I do know that waiting on God requires the willingness to bear uncertainty, to carry within oneself the unanswered question, lifting the heart to God about it whenever it intrudes upon one's thoughts. It is easy to talk oneself into a decision that has no permanence--easier sometimes than to wait patiently."
"Taken in a spirit of trust, even loneliness contributes to the maturing of character, even the endurance of separation and silence and that hardest thing of all, uncertainty, can build in us a steady hope."
~Elisabeth Elliot (check out the daily devotionals, they're pretty good)
Passion and Purity
Just a few little nuggets from the first half of the book. I'm sure more will follow. I love the way she writes using her own experience to show what God has put on her heart to teach. Oh, to only be the least bit as patient and obedient as she. That would be an accomplishment in my eyes.
Elisabeth Elliot happens to be an amazing writer
So, I just started reading a book today (the first time I've done that in a very long while, not including books having to do with school) and I was very impressed at how well it kept my attention. It's the book that I, along with 3 other women friends of mine from school, decided to read over the summer. We were going to be reading and corresponding with each other. Well, seeing as there has been no correspondence and I just started reading it, I'm thinking none of the other girls have cracked the cover yet. I started it at almost 8 and didn't put it down for over an hour and a half. I'm about halfway through it already and really want to finish it by the end of the week. Hopefully, at this rate (even with the late start) I can put a dent in my summer reading list. And, hopefully the other girls will be motivated to start reading once I tell them what an amazing book it is. I think this summer has been busy for many people that I know, including myself, so finding time to read is a luxury that I appreciate.
Well, it's time for sleeping. A bit early for me to be going to bed if you look at my sleeping schedule as of late, but, it's still the wise choice and I'm trying to make more of those.
Happy 4th of July!!!
Tonight, I watched the fireworks on the lake. It was a good day, spending time with a lot of people I care about. I've always loved fireworks. It was strange, though, because I found myself wanting to be in someone's arms. I actually haven't felt that way in a very long time, even though it's thought to be a normal occurrence in a girl's day. I guess there's just something about fireworks on a kinda chilly evening surrounded by couples that makes you want that special someone. Oh well, I'll just chalk it up to being a girl and move on. It really was a great night overall.
